Sharpening kitchen knives is never a good idea. Well, it’s good in theory, but in my clumsy reality it’s terrible. I decided to sharpen our Wusthof knife set that we got for our wedding four years ago for the very first time – how super domestic of me. I was excited at the prospect of actually being able to chop some lettuce without getting carpel tunnel. I dutifully scraped all 16 knives on the sharpener thingy, washed them and waited until I needed to cut something. Then today I needed to cut something. Sweet. Making gluten-free lasagna, and I decided it’d be a good idea to make a third of it dairy free with vegan cheese for me and man that was a bad call. When the package was wet and slippery and wouldn’t open the regular way after trying really hard, I should have read the signs & stopped right there, but I pressed on. I grabbed one of my freshly shiny pointy knives out of the block and quickly sliced the package open. Unfortunately, I also sliced my finger open and my moist fake cheese became moist fake cheese with blood all over it and why did I think eating vegan cheese was a good idea in the first place? Determined to beat this stringy non-dairy glob at its own game, I salvaged some, washed my finger off and after wrapping it hastily in a paper towel, I used one hand to finish my gluten-free half dairy free lasagna so ha! I made it anyway. Victory. The timer went off and it smelled awesome and I had wrapped my sore finger which probably needed stitches but I had more important things to do that spend all afternoon, evening, night in the emergency room – I had lasagna to devour! I grabbed a plate, put a steaming forkful of my concoction in my mouth and immediately spit it out. Awful. Tasted like garbage & sour milk got together and had a food baby. At least I learned an important lesson: don’t do things, especially not things in the kitchen.
Hey Babe 