Attack of the…

…Bastard Grout Mold

It gets worse every second I sit here and type and try to ignore its presence. It mocks me by growing and spreading its mossy splotches across my tile. From bottom to top, it’s gone from ‘Eh, not so bad it’s just in the corners’ to ‘Hmm, that’s getting pretty noticeable’ to ‘Eeeeww, this isn’t a shower it’s a mildew factory!’ Pretty soon I’m gonna start talking to the mold like it’s my shower buddy or maybe that’s the spores getting into my brain. I think I’d better actually take some action. I’ve tried the environmentally friendly sprays, but that weak watered down stuff can’t penetrate this Fort Knox of sludge so I mix up my own little concoction inspired by Martha’s grout cleaner & it worked awesomely. Vinegar rocks:

DIY Tub and Tile Cleaner

http://www.marthastewart.com/273228/diy-tub-and-tile-cleaner?search_key=mold%20mildew%20cleaner

Attack of the…

…Bathroom Spider.

So last night it was midnight after finally putting my nonsleeping kid to sleep, and I was trying to pee as quietly as possible before crawling into bed when out of the corner of my eye I see him. The biggest creepiest curliest black spider scampering across the bathroom floor. Actually, ‘scampering’ makes it seem like this creature was in some way endearing but he really wasn’t so let’s say he was scurrying. Wait, no. Lurking. Whatever, he was fast okay? Back and forth across the floor by my feet and then under the white rug and then under the white towel I left on the floor so I could dry my razor, because it gets all gross when I leave it in the shower. So I can see the little lump scurrying, I mean creeping underneath the towel and I stealthily grab the nearest hard thing – a Kleenex box – throw back the floor towel and WHACK! Got him and he curled up his hairy legs like that witch under the house in The Wizard of Oz and I had a moment of victory & then immediately one of sadness and regret, because I usually advocate saving spiders since they kill the little, more annoying bugs, but he was so damn scampery and well, I justified it to myself because of the mystery bites my daughter had on her back recently, but obviously I feel guilt or I wouldn’t be writing this post at 4:19am. Thankfully my arachnid homicide didn’t wake up my kid or then I’d have real problems.